No webinar? No problem – I have plenty to do to keep me busy. Too bad I didn’t realize there was no digital solutions on Monday – frantically looked for the link and gave up after half an hour. Thanks Leanne for letting me know I wasn’t losing my mind!
FINALLY – success – my blog site is running properly! Now that this albatross has been removed from list, maybe, just maybe, I’ll successfully complete my recording. I’m being too judgmental on myself for this – but I want it to be done right – by whose standards? Well, mine of course! So – I forge on with my work, and my MKE commitments – all is more than good! One baby step at a time – change like this takes commitment and time and patience – need I go on?
Change is good. My entire life I’ve been a change-agent and have always enjoyed stirring shit up. Why is it then that I am remorseful over leaving Scroll II behind? Perhaps it is due to how much it affected me. I have been hurt one too many times in my life and decided a long time ago to build a wall (in reality, upon reflection it’s many walls) around me. I’ve looked for all kinds of love since I was a child. Disappointment after disappointment led to the building of these walls. Scroll II had me looking at this differently! I’ve always been benevolent, been the friend others turn to (over the past couple of years I have been able to admit I need help too sometimes!), but have always lacked that one component – you know – the love thing. I have always doubted anyone who says those words to me – yes, a literal girl – but am learning to accept these words as a gift. It will come. Of this I have no doubt.
Perhaps it was also due to the fact the opening paragraph of Scroll III has aspects of what I consider to be animal cruelty in it – tried passing over those sentences then rationalize to myself this was written in a different time period and even then it was depicting a time period even older than when it was written? Am I making any sense? So, it’s been hard for me to get through the beginning of this scroll. The rest of it? Story of my life! Once I make up my mind to do something, I will stop at almost nothing to accomplish it.